Thursday, January 13, 2011

Everyone Does It

The mailman does it.  The store clerk does it.  The kids at school do it.  Your siblings do it.  Your parents do it.  Everyone poops in the potty.  Right?

I hope for the end of poverty and violence and world hunger and cancer.  I want all those things.  I really, really do.  But right this very instant, all I can focus on is the secret to getting Number 4 (3.5 years old) to poop in the potty.

I know. I know.  I've heard, tried and given to countless friends over the years, ALL the advice like "when they are ready it will happen" and "you can lead a kid to the potty but you can't make him go"  and "no one goes to high school pooping in their pants" and "go cold turkey and get rid of all the training pants" and MY PERSONAL FAVORITE "stay home for a week to focus on poop".  We all know that is simply impossible AND exactly where I would end up if I didn't leave the house for a week.  Cue Ozzy Osborne's "Crazy Train".

I've tried using the big potty.  A little potty drug out from behind all the Christmas decorations in the attic.  Underwear only (good thing I have plenty of hand-me-downs to toss).  Training pants only.  Scolding.  Not scolding at all.  Ignoring and complete focus. He is ready, if hiding and/or locking yourself in your room to poop signals readiness.

I've been down this road before.  This ain't my first potty rodeo.  I am certain at least one of The Brothers had this same resistance.  Too bad I cannot for the life of me remember what I did about it.  Probably absolutely nothing.  'Cause I know with all my heart "when they are ready it will happen" and "no one goes to high school pooping in their pants" and "you can lead a kid to the potty but you can't make him go".

Another day, another story,


April said...

Emily- I am not going to try to give you advice because you obviously have WAY more potty training badges than I do, but I do want to say....Bless your heart, I know EXACTLY how you feel! I, too, have a 3.5 year old who refuses to potty train for more than 24 hours. Just when I think we have made it...I find myself gagging as I wash out crap-filled tighty-whitey's(that aren't even white anymore) in the bathroom sink with my disposable gloves on. I don't know the answer, but can totally sympathize and like you, I am really ready to deliver a drop kick to the face of the next person who thinks they know what I am doing wrong.

magsmcc said...

No mention of poop in Wind in the Willows- it must be a poop-free zone- come and join us for fun and poopless merriment- blog event happening over at fraise! Have you seen Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang?- I only have to say Land of Poo in a poor upper-crust English accent to have them rolling in the aisles!


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