Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Why We Don't Have a Dog

Or  "How to Clean Your Bathroom in 5 Minutes"
Or  "Potty Training Boys - The Dark Side"
Or  "New Toys and Towels"
Or  "Why I Never Shave My Legs"
Or  "Shit Happens"

If I am anything, I am honest.  Ask me, if you want to know the truth.  The whole truth.  The whole, nasty, stinky, gag-inducing truth.  Fair warning.

About 45 minutes ago, I was minding my own business in the shower while Number 4 was "taking a tub" in my bathroom.  It is a great way to keep him occupied while I get ready.  I can keep an eye on him for 5-10 minutes while we both get clean. An everyday occurrence.

"Moooooooom!!!  I need you!!!!"

"I'll be done in a minute, honey.  Let me rinse my hair."

"MOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!  I REALLLYYYYY need you !!!!  I pooped.  I pooped in the tub."

Damn it to hell.

I got out of the shower, got him out of the tub, put him on the toilet, which smeared poop all over the toilet.  So I put him in the shower and started cleaning the toilet. Then I saw the poop on his towel, the bath toys and on the floor.  I threw the towel and bath toys away and started cleaning the tub and the floor.

"Hey Mom, I pooped in the shower."

I got him out of the shower and put him back on the toilet, which smeared poop all over the toilet again.  I cleaned the shower so I could put him back in again while I cleaned the toilet.  Then, I cleaned the shower again.

Another day, another story,


Em and Lib said...

Pretty flamboyant way to let you know he's done using diapers!!

Em and Lib said...

You're amazing, after the second cycle, I think I would have lost it, called for reinforcements or left him on the toilet while I downed a beer!

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting exactly 15 minutes before I burst into hysterical laughter. Only 15 minutes....

Graceful said...

Oh my word, what a story. And I hate to say it, but I've been there.

magsmcc said...

Well, I have no sympathy; if it wasn't for you talented and drop dead amazing bloggistes out there, I would have had my bathroom clean forty-five minutes ago!

MinivanMama said...

see, you DO need a dog because if it is a dumb enough dog, it eats feces and would have cleaned all that up for you.

I have three you can choose from. they are all equally stupid.


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