Friday, June 11, 2010

The Perfect Crime

AKA, The Great Gelato Heist

Code 2010 Section 14: Lying with Excessive Charming in Perpetration of Theft

A certain child who must remain nameless to avoid potential legal prosecution (hint: he did explain that "I am 'E' and I 'lie' ") pulled quite a heist last night at our favorite coffee/ gelato shop.  Luckily we are very good friends with the owners, or this might have been a plea for bail money.

As usual, it was hot and humid.  The kids and I were enjoying the weekly concert in the town square park (by "enjoying" I mean I was listening to the jazz quartet while Numbers 1-4 ran around with sticks).  Ms. Kelli generously offered the alleged hooligan a bagel and a glass of water from her shop across the street.  She sent him over to tell her daughter who was working that she said it was OK for him to have A BAGEL AND A GLASS OF WATER.  He returns about 20 minutes later nonchalantly eating a refreshing cup of chocolate gelato (one of the best flavors available, in my opinion).  The subsequent interrogation went something like this:

Me, "Oh, did you decide to get gelato instead of the bagel?"

The alleged hooligan, "Uhhhhhh, not exactly."

Me, "What do you mean 'not exactly' ?"

The alleged hooligan, "I kind of made some things up."

Me, "You mean you lied and stole the gelato from our very good friends' shop?!?!?"

The alleged hooligan began to crack under the pressure. "Oh, I am sorry I didn't mean to it was an accident do I need to return it oh I am sorry I didn't mean to I was just so hungry for the bagel AND the gelato......."

At this point, my hopefully still very good friend, Mrs. Kelli, was laughing her proverbial ass off, trying not to look at the suspect.

A plea bargain was agreed to by all parties including $2.00 restitution from the defendant's personal funds in addition to a sentence of sweeping up and emptying trash this Saturday at the shop and no access to his iPod Touch for 24 hours.

Another day, another story,


Em and Lib said...

Between this and the chapstick, you've got a regular gang! A+ reporting!!

Susan said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. Thank you for letting me visit.


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