Thursday, June 17, 2010

Open Letter



RE:    Summer Vacation


To whom it may concern,


This whole summer thing is not really working out.  So far the choices of daily activities around here are quite clear:  A.) Go out and spend money on food and/or activities or B.) Stay home, watch TV, play video games and fight.  


The balance between my role as cheery cruise director with an expense account and bitchy flight attendant on the red eye from Hong Kong is sketchy at best.


A good day: I make it to my 5 o'clock cocktail without breaking out The Banshee Scream.  


Did I mention it's 110 in the shade?


If you and your children, are growing organic produce, reading the classics or handcrafting anything this summer, I don't want to hear about it.  If you're children are not watching any television, but instead are enrolled in a French immersion preschool program this summer, don't even look at me. If your kids sleep past 9AM, gladly eat whatever food is prepared, occupy themselves productively and do not so much as utter a cross word to one another, I got some ocean front property in Tennessee to sell you.


I threatened to put them all in day care (with or without an actual job to pay for it). They called that bluff.


52 days until the first day of school,
Em





3 comments:

Julie said...

Sounds like a scene from my house. I'm just wondering how many episodes of iCarly and SpongeBob until there is permanent and irreversible brain damage?

jennhenders said...

Oh, Em. I can so totally relate to this post...and I am so sorry for us both!! Maybe we can get together and switch boys for a week, lol! You know, cuz, mine are convinced that ANYWHERE else is better than here! And kids always seem to act better for somebody else than for momma.

Hope your tomorrow is better!

Jenn

Mrs. White said...

Amen, sister.

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